Lessons After The First Year of Marriage

People say the first year of marriage is the toughest. I guess we've been pretty blessed so far. It feels like The Hubs and I have survived our first year and a half with a fair breeze. Needless to say, this doesn't mean we don't get our fair share of troubles from time to time. It's a huge adjustment after all --starting a new life with someone and everything that comes with them. So here are a few of the lessons (a lot of them we often think of as cliches but prove otherwise) I've learned so far:

1. "You (definitely) marry a whole family." 

I keep telling everyone time and again that I've never felt more blessed to belong to a family like my husband's. There has never been a time where I felt like I was an "outsider." My in-laws have all been very warm and loving. The Hubs, in turn, has repeatedly expressed how much he adores my own family. We've truly been lucky. However, not all newly weds can say the same. It's a common theme amongst people I know to have trouble adjusting to their new families. But this is a MUST. This is something crucial that one has a definite need to consider before getting married. Like it or not, your partner's every family ordeal, whether good or bad, will be yours as well. One needs to be ready to be PART of the family you're marrying into, and not simply expect to be a bystander. 

2. "Apologizing doesn't always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego." 

I know what you're thinking --this quote must've been taken straight out of those overly reposted typography-like images on Tumblr or Pinterest. Maybe. But that doesn't make it any less relevant. I can't begin to enumerate how many times this line of thinking has saved our relationship from having to face bigger problems out of trivial matters. It can't be helped that in any relationship, you're going to argue and find things to fight about. It's a difficult lesson to learn, but for most arguments, the both of you eventually have to realize that it's never worth to let your egos win. Saying sorry and actually meaning it is never easy, but when you truly love another person it's usually worth the sacrifice.

Bay Area (Spring 2013)

It's hard to define where "Home" is these days. But whenever we go back to the Bay Area, everything just seems to feel right. Familiar faces and places --nothing beats going back to a place you truly love. 

Some of the highlights of our trip include...

Our Little Family

I cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am to have my "little family." In the work that I do, it's not uncommon to feel burnt out and  stressed. Believe me, after three consecutive 12-hour Noc Shifts trying to keep people alive, feeling "drained" is the least of your worries. But coming home to The Hubs and The Pup is all the therapy I need. 

It's still difficult to wrap my head around on how my life and priorities have drastically changed. Not too long ago, all I would need to think about are my own self-directed needs. But now, suddenly I find my thoughts revolving around these individuals that I feel responsible for and bonded to. But it's an awesome feeling (Most of the time. Haha!). It has a comfortable sense of security to it that I'm definitely embracing. To be honest, I simply cannot wait for more (all in God's perfect time).

My every day isn't always peaches and cream, but I at least get to go home to this. And I know I'm one of the happiest people alive. I sincerely feel blessed. I can only hope and pray there will be more of this... warm cuddles, soft kisses, laughter and looks of utter welcome. No amount of material things can ever replace what we have. It all just comes full circle. And I'm forever grateful. 

It Goes On

Rejection --- we all have to go through it at some point in our lives. Whether it's in our search for the right career, the right person to be with or whatever circumstance we may face, getting a "No" for an answer is never, ever EASY to say the least. It's a right of passage that none of us would want to go through, but most definitely will experience (and may NEED to experience) quite a few times. 

The hardest part is always, ALWAYS that initial blow. It's that moment when someone or something tells you that your efforts simply aren't enough. It hurts (no kidding about that), we get into a slump and we cry (yes, we all cry, even if it's just on the inside --to some of us, it may mean bawling ugly, nose dripping while your car is pulled over to the nearest curb. Cough! Cough!). And even though we try to convince ourselves to carry on, it is in fact harder than it may seem. But it's crucial that we move on no matter what. Cry it out, rant, eat as much ice cream as you need, the important thing is you remember that all of it eventually has to STOP and you have to get yourself out of that slump.

As cliche as it sounds, things do get better eventually. We all at some point learn to get back on our feet and realize, nothing in our lives have really changed by much. And even if we feel like we've lost, there's still so much ahead of us. How the process goes, and how long it takes may very with each person. Like a virus in our system, most of the time the best way to deal with it is to simply let it run its course.

And when we are finally able to let ourselves set our burden free, things do get better. Yes, they do. We learn and we eventually let go. It's just human nature. Remember the wise words of Robert Frost, "In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: IT GOES ON."

And today, we indulged in Sushi and tried weird/new tastes out of curiosity. It certainly helped. 

Happy Birthday, Daddy Terry!

Happy Birthday to the man who has few words but big actions, asks for little but gives so much, and chooses his battles but overcomes no matter what.

How I wish I can give the ol' man a big hug and a kiss on the cheek today, but unfortunately we're a whole ocean apart. I'm sure he knows he is loved. I am grateful each day that you are who you are. Cheers, Daddy!